Ignored to Adored… in 60 Days
The Magic Relationship Method and Paul Sterling present:
From Ignored to Adored
Transform Your Relationship in 60 Days
Relationships can be the most rewarding, growth inducing, and life affirming experiences of our lives. They can lift us up and fill us with connection, enjoyment and enthusiasm for our future.
On the flip side, when our relationships are in turmoil we can feel so disconnected, misunderstood, ignored and unable to get through to each other. Our perspectives on life, love and our selves can take a downward turn and bring us to our knees.
“Life can be difficult enough, and not being able to communicate effectively
with loved ones, co-workers, and even yourself only adds to negative stress or tension.”
-Lamont Hudson, Detention Counselor – Jefferson County Detention Facility
If your relationship is in breakdown mode, and you want more than anything for it to be overflowing with love again – I know from experience, it is possible.
Transforming your relationship is not only possible; it can be better than ever, and I’m going to show you how…keep reading…
In the 12 years I’ve been coaching individuals and couples, I have listened to many smart, loving people who are frustrated, lonely and feeling hopeless about their relationship, wondering:
“What the hell happened?
We were so close…
we were intimate, passionate…
we understood each other…
we used to be able to talk about anything…
and now???”
Out of desperation, we end up blaming each other, making each other wrong, nagging each other, and plenty of other behaviors that make us feel shut down – it’s a downward cycle.
We start to question ourselves, our judgment, our sanity, and we start to look at our partners differently.
When We Feel Made Wrong, We Don’t Feel Heard…
When We Don’t Feel Heard, We Don’t Feel Valued.
Once this cycle starts, lovers invest more of their time punishing each other by being cold, inconsiderate, withholding sex and intimacy, ignoring each other, and shutting each other out with the silent treatment.
If this downward cycle continues, and effective changes aren’t made quickly, the relationship will end in separation or divorce – been there, done that – even have the divorce papers to prove it.
After years of searching, studying, teaching, and learning, I have discovered a universal truth for all people and relationships:
The quality of your relationship is based on
the quality of your communication.When your communication falls apart…
…so does your relationship.
With the right tools and commitment to turn your relationship from breakdown to better than ever – your relationship can be even better than you’ve ever dreamed!
Let Me Share My Story:
My own parents loved each other, but couldn’t figure out how to work out their differences. They didn’t have the communication tools and skills they needed – and they went through a very painful divorce.
Their pattern continued – with me…
I was an international business consultant traveling around the world making a great living consulting for government and businesses.
You might think a successful businessman working in the field of communication, an excellent problem solver, who loved his partner and was committed to the relationship would’ve been able to figure out his own relationship issues, right?
Not so much…I wound up divorced and with three broken engagements.
I struggled to communicate with my partner, just like my parents had.
I couldn’t figure out how to express what I needed or felt in a way that felt right to me and made sense to her. We both felt stifled, frustrated, and couldn’t find a way to communicate with each other.
My problem was three-fold: I didn’t know how much I didn’t know, I didn’t know who to ask for help, and I was embarrassed to ask for it.
I was taking things personally, making things personal and listening from a defensive place where I was unable to hear anything else.
Rather than our conflicts being hashed out, resolved and then rekindling our passion, conflicts continued to be recycled over and over again devolving into more hurtful, damaging arguments.
We couldn’t seem to discuss any emotional or important issues without it leading to painful misunderstandings, and most of these upsets resulted in both of us walking away feeling like we weren’t heard, understood or even valued.
Having trained with some of the most amazing personal growth and self-help leaders on the planet: Bob Proctor (of – The Secret), Tony Robbins (motivational advisor to Olympic athletes and presidents), Robert Kiyosaki (the author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad), Marshall Thurber (creator of “Money and You”), Byron Katie (The Work), and the list goes on…I thought, ‘I should’ve been able to figure it out myself,’ right?
But, I was wrong again.
Even with remarkable mentors, theories, methods and relationship skills, a significant piece, an activator, a catalyst, a simple key component in my relationship and communication toolbox was missing.
[Enter] A Happy Accident:
It was a happy accident that I discovered the secret that completed the “big picture” of all the knowledge, skills and methods I’d spent my adult life learning, developing and teaching:
A number of years ago now, dear friends told me their marriage was on the rocks. They had even started seeing other people.
As far as I could tell – and I’m a pretty good judge of these things – it was just a matter of time before their relationship was over.
Several months later, they invited me for St. Patrick’s Day dinner.
I don’t remember what we ate, but I remember being blown away by what I saw and felt – they had fallen in love again!
As a student of personal growth and a vested friend, I immediately asked them:
“What happened? What created this huge transformation?”
They told me about Non-Violent Communication (NVC) – a simple, powerful, four-step method of compassionate communication created by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, designed to establish a deep level of connection and understanding with almost anyone.
I got Marshall’s books and tapes, and even flew to Sweden to spend nearly a month learning as much as I could about his compassionate communication methodology.
This was a HUGE leap of faith for me that turned out to be the most important thing I’ve ever done, and the best $5,500.00 investment I have made in my life!
Imagine working on a puzzle for years without knowing what it looked like and then one day someone hands you a picture of it completed!
Compassionate communication has been the most life-altering, game changing, “A-HA!” moment that transformed the way I communicate in all of my relationships.
At first, I applied what I learned to my own life, and my friends and family noticed an enormous change in me, and the way I communicated.
After many requests, I started sharing it with others.
Compassionate communication is universal and powerful across all walks of life. With my history of so many communication problems in the area of relationships – and since we tend to teach what we most need to learn – I chose to focus on relationships.
“I had the privilege of hearing Paul Sterling speak about Conflict Resolution and Communication to West High School students…the teachers and adults in the classroom were enthralled with the material.
I thought about how valuable Paul’s communication techniques would be in marriage and among families, where conflict tends to be the most severe. I appreciate Paul’s “Compassionate Communication Method” because it demonstrates how to value other people in the midst of arguments.
It teaches you how to ask questions to get at the real meaning and feeling behind emotions and words. Families, schools, offices, etc. would all benefit from hearing about this communication process.”
-Mary Fusco, Goodwill Industries
How Compassionate Communication Continues to Impact My World:
From prison inmates and at-risk youth in the Denver school district, to Goodwill Industries and even Naropa University in Boulder, Colorado, I have found compassionate communication a simple, effective and powerful tool that traverses all boundaries, barriers, and can break down the walls that took a lifetime to build.
It was during my three days teaching at Naropa, standing in front of a room full of university professors, marriage counselors and therapists teaching them about compassionate communication that I can remember stopping in the middle of my presentation and asking myself:
‘How did I, a high school dropout, an ex-Alaskan commercial fisherman, a guy that has been through a divorce and three broken engagements – get here?’
It was quite a surreal moment for me.
Last year, I spent a month teaching relationship skills and touring around Bali.
This year I’ll be teaching on a sailboat in the Croatian islands…it blows my mind considering where I started this journey.
A Fully Stocked Relationship Toolbox:
With the right tools and a little help from your friends, you can transform your life.
I won’t BS you with any talk about how easy this whole thing is…it’s not easy; changing any habit is like quitting smoking, losing weight or getting in shape – it will be a pain in the ass, but it is the best possible investment for your health, sanity and future.
Whether we like it or not, the way we communicate with our beloved is habitual, and new, helpful, healthy habits must replace those that don’t work for us.
Having the proper tools and knowing how to use them makes learning new, helpful habits almost easy.
Let me tell you a short and slightly embarrassing story that has everything to do with relationships..
I was teaching my compassionate communication method to prison inmates in Golden, Colorado, and I was in a rush, so I ate breakfast on my way out the door and got a piece of bacon lodged between my teeth.
At first, I didn’t think much of it, but over the course of a 90-minute drive, it got more and more irritating; I became consumed with getting it out.
I tried with my fingernail, which just seemed to wedge it in further – so I grabbed a business card, which started to work, but got soggy and tore off between my teeth – and, you guessed it – made it even worse!
In 30 minutes, that piece of bacon had me cursing my flimsy fingernails, cheap business cards and myself for my poor time management that had me eating on the run!
This Is What Happens When We Use the Wrong Tools!
Desperate, I finally pulled over and found – Ta da! – A toothpick!
Simple and effective!
With the right tool, the problem that had consumed my focus for more than 30 minutes – took less than 30 seconds to resolve!
It’s the same in relationships – without the right methods, skills and tools to deal with the challenges that all relationships have – we waste our time, money, energy, focus and affection spinning our wheels and digging ourselves deeper.
Without the right tools and the knowledge to use them, we drain away our self-esteem and the lifeblood of our relationships in the process.
So, Let’s Get Down to Brass Tacks:
Ask yourself a couple of very real and honest questions:
Is Your Relationship Worth Saving…?
…if it is…
Are You Willing to Do What It Takes
to Make Your Relationship Work?
If you want your relationship to be better, but you just don’t know how, and so far everything you’ve tried hasn’t worked – and you’ve tried just about everything…
There is a better way! However, it does require some…
…Emotional Elbow Grease:
If you are truly committed to your relationship, it is possible to turn your relationship around and feel adored again, but this isn’t something you can dabble in and get the results you seek – it’s going to take hard work, commitment and perseverance.
“Learn how to communicate, identify feelings and put into
action now. Do not wait for ‘later’!….you might not make it….it may be too late.”
-Female prisoner – Jefferson County Jail
I was recently listening to a speaker who brought up the difference between dabbling and mastering. After listening to her description, I realized I dabble at many things in my life.
Though my dad was a master cabinet builder, carpenter, contractor and architect, I was not. I’ve never taken a course on carpentry and I’ve only glanced at a few books on the subject. You might say – I dabble at carpentry.
And that’s okay – I don’t need to master it. If I need some woodwork done, I hire someone who is a master at it.
The problem is, I can’t hire someone who is good at relationships to do my relationship for me – it’s a relationship, not income taxes. That’d be like asking someone to go to the gym and work out for me so I can get in shape. Hey, it’s a cool idea – I like it, but it just doesn’t work that way.
When I thought more about what the speaker said, I realized: I’m committed to mastering relationships!
It may be because of all the heartbreak and failure I’ve been through, but it also could be that this is the area of life that brings me the most joy and intimacy!
When I look at my bookshelves they’re filled with books on relationships, communication and sacred sexuality.
For 12 years, I’ve been coaching clients and helping them transform the results they were getting in their relationships into the results they wanted for their relationships.
Every one of us has obstacles to overcome that separate the life we have from the life we want.
We are often so focused on what stands in our way, we miss out on opportunities to reach for the life of our dreams.
Most frequently, what stops us from making real progress and meaningful changes in our lives are past patterns habits and hang-ups concerns related to time, fear and finances. Time and cost are issues for all of us.
How much time do you feel you have wasted (and will likely continue to waste) being frustrated and feeling light-years away from the life you really want?
Compare that to the amount of time it will take to learn the skills to transform your life from where it is currently, to where you want it to be.
What have unhappiness, dissatisfaction, lack of intimacy and low self-esteem cost you and your relationships already throughout your life?
How many opportunities have you turned down out of fear or trying not to rock an already unstable boat?
If you apply what I teach, it will likely be the most important and transformational 60 days of your relationship.
I can teach you the skills to make space for love to grow again, and for all of your relationships to develop and thrive – especially your relationship to your self.
“…The difference between this course and others is that the focus is on applying a set of principles instead of discussing the principles. The workshop also coached me on how to focus on my own needs without thinking I was selfish, needy, or demanding.
The techniques of focusing on my own emotions allowed me to open my heart to feel the emotions of the others and look beyond the situation and toward the individuals involved in the situation. I felt grudges disappear as I focused on these individuals.
The techniques allowed ?me to feel empowered…
I am able to envision endless opportunities to apply these techniques for my own relationships, for my job, and in the community at large when confronted with difficult situations or even to help focus on problem or needs of others.”
Linda Nelson – Arkansas
My Recommendation:
To provide the focus, training, coaching and support needed to achieve lasting transformation, I have set up this course as a 60-day intensive commitment to transform your relationship.
What I have personally found most helpful is to have a coach/trainer who blends a bit of handholding and butt kicking to keep me on track.
I knew my habits, behaviors and even my beliefs needed to change. Change takes time, commitment and honest doses of truth from someone you trust – like a booster shot – it may hurt a bit in the short run, but will likely save your life.
I designed this course to serve as a relationship gym with shiny new communication tools, impactful exercises and your own personal trainer right by your side.
This concentrated 60-day course will not just transform your relationship – it will transform your life!
FROM IGNORED TO ADORED
Transform Your Relationship in 60 Days
Here’s What You Get:
Over the 60-day course, you will receive a “greatest hits” relationship toolbox condensed from a lifetime of soul searching and 20 years of amazing mentors, methods, teachers, theories and friends.
We will have two calls a week – Sunday afternoon and Wednesday evening – (nearly every week) for the full 60 days.
Each 20 days, the first couple of calls are to teach you the compassionate communication secrets and methods. These calls are about you gaining new information for deep and long-lasting transformation you can use immediately.
To ensure you practice, we will have lots of role plays, Q & A time to answer any questions that may come up, ample practice time with your Study Buddy, and of course – practice time with your beloved.
PHASE 1. ‘STOP THE BLEEDING’ – Walking and talking on eggshells stops here!
First, you will identify the damaging and destructive habits and behaviors destroying your chance for intimacy in your relationship. Once identified, stopping the downward spiral and getting things on track will almost feel easy!
In the first 20-days, we will cover the big 5 communication mistakes:
- Case building
- Storytelling
- Message assuming
- Cup stuffing
- The Fatal F’s
“I recognize how I am constantly building cases against
people. Just that alone has radically impacted my relationships.”
-Daniela Hess Scholl, Ithaca, New York
During this first phase you will also learn about how to W.O.W. your lover…
HINT: What is Outstandingly Wonderful about your lover? You can start practicing tonight, just sit them down on the couch and let them have it…but in a good way!
Let them know what you love about them!
Tell them what they did or said, how that made you feel, and what need of yours it met – be specific! After about 10 minutes of going back and forth, you will be amazed at how sexy this feels!
We will also cover the 3-A’s: Acknowledgement, Appreciation, and Acceptance.
Most people and relationships are running on a severe deficit when it comes to these three main ingredients of intimacy.
A major part of the 3-A’s is learning to manage the daily deposits into your relationship bank account. As with any account, keeping track of the ratio between deposits and withdrawals prevents you from overdrawing – so you won’t bankrupt your relationship!
PHASE 2. ‘HEALING THE WOUNDS BETWEEN YOU’
Here we will focus on digging out of the emotional and physical hole a downward spiral creates.
This is when the real fun begins as you start increasing your ability to create instant intimacy with your lover.
This is the good stuff, where you get to enter into your lover’s world so deeply that they feel truly heard, understood and valued – even when talking about difficult issues with differing points of view.
The second 20 days are all about feeling “gotten” in your relationship. By bridging the gap between you – creating almost instant empathy and resolving conflicts – where downward spirals once loomed, bright opportunities for greater intimacy will begin to flourish.
Instead of bankrupting your relationship with petty, sniping, damaging withdrawals, you’ll find yourself making generous deposits into your relationship bank – steadily building a secure, loving and connected future together.
As you see the benefits with your partner, you will happily find those benefits crossing into your other relationships – with your family, your boss, the person whose bumper you’d normally ride in traffic – but more importantly, your relationship with yourself will change and improve dramatically.
You will learn how to meet your partner where you are – now in this moment – by choosing to learn and master new and different communication skills so you both are speaking compassionately.
Conversations will no longer turn into arguments as you will no longer be listening out of defensiveness or being right – instead you will be listening fearlessly!
Even if you think your partner won’t be interested, remember – communication may be a two-way street, but it sure helps when at least one side is clear to demonstrate what can be possible.
“After just the initial two-hour session of this workshop, my husband
and I were able to use those tools on our own upsets…We were an hour and a half into our drive home when
I realized we were talking about our toughest issues with calm
compassion and understanding instead of upset and hurt.Thank you so much for such an amazing gift.”
-C. S. Estes Park, Colorado
When you listen powerfully, your lover feels heard, understood and valued, rather than made wrong, stupid or defensive…and with all of those impossibly painful little tangles undone, communication becomes smooth, silky and it will feel good to talk to each other again.
PHASE 3. ‘CREATING A BRIGHT FUTURE’
During the final 20 days, you will find a greater understanding, appreciation and value of yourself, and with it, your very own personal relationship savings balance will rise exponentially.
In this phase, the 7 Sacred Keys are introduced to cultivate a future in support of the relationship you’ve only dreamed could be:
- Easy Wins – making it easy to win in your relationship
- Greatest Gift – the gift of receiving
- Empathy List – before advice, opinion or education
- It’s Not Personal – “understanding, is not agreement”
- Intimacy – the greatest aphrodisiac
- Baggage Handling – yours and theirs
- Dishes Daily – not letting the issues pile up
You will get exercises to practice using the 7 Sacred Keys and help you transform the way you communicate – more importantly – transform the results you get in your relationship.
In addition to the (3) 20-day phases, personal training calls, group calls, Study Buddy, practice exercises and methods, I have included a few bonuses to accelerate your learning – and make it easier for you to say YES!
The First Bonus – 1 hour a month of personal, private, one-on-one coaching with me or one of my trained coaches.
Sometimes we get stuck, or something may come up for you that’s getting in the way of your moving ahead, but it’s personal and you want to keep it private. We can cover whatever you need on these calls.
The Second Bonus – A set of MP3s covering the MAGIC RELATIONSHIP METHOD and its three parts. This 5-4-7 will rock your world!
Part 1. I have identified painful patterns that block out any chance of intimacy in relationships and I uncovered 5 main causes – communication mistakes – that cause about 80% of upsets and misunderstandings.
These recordings cover those 5 mistakes so you can easily identify them, and more importantly, avoid making them without having to avoid talking about important and emotional issues.
Wouldn’t it be cool to know what those are and how to avoid them?! This alone makes the whole course worthwhile!
Part 2. In this audio interview we cover the 4-step method to create almost instant intimacy with anyone. This is an amazing tool that will help you resolve conflicts and be effective in dealing with someone who is triggered and upset.
“I think I will be better equipped to take time to listen to others’ feelings as well as
being able to relate to my feelings without always being defensive, and hearing
the negative. When they are probably just showing me an act of love or asking me for help.”
-Melissa Snow, Golden, CO
This is a foundational tool for bridging the gap between you and your lover, being able to enter their world and have them enter yours. We will be spending a lot of time mastering this process during the 60-day intensive. This bonus will give you a giant jumpstart!
Part 3. In this last part, you will discover the 7 Sacred Secrets – guidelines for creating a bright future together. You will discover the habits, behaviors and beliefs that support an attitude of gratitude, appreciation, acknowledgement and support for long-term transformation. Getting this before the course will get you ahead of the blame game.
The Third Bonus – A copy of my e-book: STOP…In The Name of Love
I love this book, and here’s an embarrassing admission: I’m not a great writer, so this book isn’t well written, but the information and exercises are amazing.
Don’t read this book because you’re looking for a great novel. Read it because you’re looking to spend less time stepping on each other’s toes, hurting each other’s feelings and making each other wrong. Read it because you want to spend more time making each other feel special, loved, appreciated and adored.
Okay enough on the bonuses – you get the idea – I want to support you in any way I can so these 60 days together are utterly transformational, and that at the end of the course you’ll have the tools and skills to make your relationship Better Than Ever!
I believe THE BEST IS YET TO COME!
Let us review:
This is a 60-day course during which you get tele-seminar trainings, group coaching calls, role-play calls, E-mail support, a Study Buddy, practice exercises, and support on how to apply these compassionate communication tools and methods to even your most challenging situations.
All of the calls will be recorded and available to you anytime you want or need. Many of these calls will be worth listening to several times over to get the most out of them.
A Few Last Words:
If you’ve read this far, I am talking about something that speaks to you, and the idea of mastering these communication skills to help transform your relationship is something that resonates, interests and is important to you.
So, let’s address a few of the roadblocks we all experience when we are looking at making big changes in our lives…
Let’s Talk About Time:
Habits are tough to break, and learning new tools and new ways of communicating take practice. Rome wasn’t built in a day!
Spend 60 days renovating your communication skills and they will last you a lifetime.
Investment in you – take the time you deserve to create the proper foundation upon which to soundly build your future.
Affording the Course:
I’m offering two payment options: A single payment or a three-part payment plan.
Coming in as a Single, your options are:
Coming in as a Couple, your options are:
A single payment is the more affordable option in the long run because it’s less paperwork and tracking for my bookkeeper – however – not everyone has a lump sum waiting in the wings. The three-part payment plan option costs slightly more, but is payable over time. The most important thing is – either option will get you into the course!
Change is tough for all of us:
If you’re worried your lover will never change, won’t support your taking the course, or that your own habits are tattooed indelibly on your soul – keep in mind…
When you develop new habits you build new, stronger muscles, and quickly your behavior shifts toward supporting those new muscles.
One way or another, whether your partner participates in the course or not, the changes in you will be so profound, anyone in your life will notice and want it for themselves as well.
Let me be blunt – don’t dabble with something as precious as your relationships. Dive in and get all the support and training you need – start today.
What To Do Next:
Grab your credit card, scroll down to the bottom of the page, enter your name, address and credit card number and Let’s Get Started!
Once your order is processed I will E-mail you the information so you can download your bonus E-book and MP3s immediately.
With purpose, passion and possibility,
Paul Sterling
Intimacy Coach
PS. Here are some questions I’ve received about the course…and some answers.
- “I’m currently single. Can I take this course by myself?”Yes, you can take this course if you are single – it will impact all of your relationships and lay a healthy foundation for your future relationships.
- “I’m in a relationship and my partner isn’t ready to take a course like this yet. Can I take it by myself?”The simple answer is, yes. Obviously, it’s more fun and fulfilling to take it together, but I guarantee you that taking it by yourself is much better than not taking it at all.
When you use these new messages and skills at home, your lover will become more and more interested – especially the exercises around acknowledgment, acceptance and appreciation.
- “What about time? I’m just so damn busy. How will I fit it in?” I hear you. You would think with all this technology it would free up our time. Instead, it seems we are busier than ever and this course is a big commitment of time and energy…So, my answer this is two-fold:First, the trainings will be recorded so if you need to miss any of the live calls, you can listen to it 24/7, when you do get the time. The next answer is really another question: How soon do you want to be wowing your lover and yourself with your expanded ability to experience and express love and intimacy?
- “That’s a lot of money, I’ve never spent that much on a relationship before. How do I know that it’s going to be worth it?”
That’s a great question, and the truth is – if you don’t do anything with what I have to teach you, it won’t be worth it.
If you apply what I teach, it will probably be the most transformational 60 days of your relationship, except for maybe the first 60 days of your relationship when you were first falling in love. Wouldn’t that be nice?
Remember, my commitment is to give you the tools, methods and skills to make your relationship better than ever!
- “I’ve tried to make changes before and it didn’t work for me. What’s different about this course?” I can’t say for sure because I don’t know what you’ve tried in the past, but I do know we’ve set up our support systems to work with people like you who periodically need guidance through some of the more challenging processes.This is also why we set you up with your Study Buddy – someone that’s going to hold you accountable to the commitments you make to yourself, your lover and to your relationship… and somebody that you are going to hold accountable to their commitments as well.
- “Will this 60-day relationship breakthrough course save my relationship?”This is another really important question I’m going to answer with an even more important question: “Is your relationship worth saving… and if so, why?”
Your answer is really important because that’s what’s going to fuel your commitment to do whatever it takes to save it if it is worth saving.
This may be a little odd for me to say, especially since I’m a relationship and intimacy coach, but – not all relationships are worth saving.
As the song goes, “You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em/ Know when to fold ‘em/ Know when to walk away/ Know when to run.”
Another consideration is this: if your relationship does end, you will have the tools to separate or divorce with dignity, and you will know that you gave it your all, your everything – and you held nothing back.
PPS. Still have questions? No problem. Just give our office call and let’s see if we can answer them so that you feel solid in your YES, this course is for you…or, if you’re a – No, I don’t think so, not at this time.
If You’re Ready to:
- Resolve conflicts before they start…
- Spend less time arguing, being upset and dealing with misunderstandings…
- Let go of the habits, patterns and beliefs that are hacking away at your intimacy…
- Learn how to let go of aggressive and defensive communication…
- Bring back the passion, intimacy and understanding…
- Grow into new, healthy, and happy, loving ways of being…
- Transform your communication in a way you’ll both feel heard, understood and valued – no matter the topic or conflict, no matter how different your views are…
If You’re Ready to Stop Being Ignored and Start Being Adored…
…YOU CAN!
Save Your Space in the Course and CLICK BELOW!
www.magicrelationship.net/60days