The Beatles Were Wrong! Love ISN'T All You Need...

"...Discover the Vital Communication Secrets Most Women Never Learn to make sure
you feel HEARD, UNDERSTOOD, and
VALUED on a regular basis by your lover.
"


What most couples don't know... is how to STOP this painful downward spiral and bring back the love, understanding,
intimacy and romance
that they desire before it's too late!" 

In this  4:42 minute video I'll cover...  

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  • Discover what wrecks most relationships… and more importantly: how you can avoid falling into this trap.
     
  • The communication secrets I stumbled upon by studying nonviolent communication and what that has to do with creating a great relationship.
     
  • The real reason most relationships come to a painful and unnecessary ending… and what you can do prevent it… you are not going to learn this anywhere else.
     
  • How to break free of destructive patterns in your relationship.
  • The three things people try to change to save their relationships… find out which one really works and which two backfire every time (and end up destroying your relationship).
     

  • Discover what controls whether or not your relationship will become a loving and compassionate success... or a heartbreaking and painful failure (you gotta know this!!!)
     
  • The hidden power your past relationships have over your current love life… how your history may be controlling and destroying your future.

And that’s just a sample!  To watch the rest of the videos, just put your name and email in the box to the right... than watch the rest of these eye-opening... and relationship saving... videos.

with passion, purpose and possibility,

 

 

Paul Sterling

Relationship Problems...
 Just Recycled or Really Resolved
 

...No more putting Band-Aids on relationship issues
...STOP being a victim of your relationship… Start being in control
...why the way most people describe their problems – just makes them worse
...Change one simple sentence & transform the results you have in your relationship

When Love Isn't Enough... 

...the Beattles were wrong. Love isn’t all you need…
...relationships fall apart because of a lack of these specific skills… not because of a lack of love
...the most important choice you can make when communicating with your lover – this one alone can be a relationship saver
...intro to the four step communication model


Can You Hear Me Now?
The 2 Parts Of Communication

...Powerful Vulnerability – why this new concept is critical to having a great relationship
...the TV ad that explains what escalates conflicts, upsets and arguments
... the two main parts of all communication
... what common habit destroys any chance of intimacy

 

Clearing Up The Relationship
Communication Puzzle

... how to open the combination lock… that guards your lover’s heart
... old beliefs can be destroying your new relationship
...  how secondary emotions can wreck your love life
...how to get what you want from your lover in a way that they enjoy giving it to you.

 
The Biggest Enemy To
 a Great Relationship

... the biggest hidden enemy to your great relationship
... how to end the power battle in your relationship
... what an EKG machine can show you about the likelihood of your relationship to succeed
...how playing left-handed racquetball can teach you about how to grow your relationship
... can being too comfortable wreck your relationship?

The Greatest Gift You Can Give...
It's Not What You Think

... the greatest gift you can give your lover – the answer may surprise and shock you
... what you need do to if you want an extra-ordinary relationship
... a simple and powerful question that will stop many conflicts right in their tracks & bring back the loving connection you desire
... a short exercise to instantly make your lover feel appreciated and acknowledged


 

 
 

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Below is an article by Relationship Coach and Author, Paul Sterling, www.MagicRelationship.net/blog


"He Doesn't Listen Anymore!"

One issue I run into when I’m coaching couples through communication problems is this: “He doesn't listen to me anymore… what can I do change this?”

To help people address this lack of communication and bring back the openness, honesty, trust and intimacy they desire… I teach them a simple and effective method:

The Magic Relationship Method is 4-Step Communication Formula, based on the work of Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, creator of Nonviolent Communication.

This system is designed to help couples overcome communication issues... with compassion and understanding... by connecting to... and expressing... their feelings, needs, and requests… rather than using the shame, blame and guilt-game... when trying to get your needs met in your relationship.

Okay, let's walk through an example…

Step 1) Start by recalling a specific situation when someone said or did something that caused upset or misunderstanding. What was said or done that both parties could agree on? Stick to the observation (the facts) and try to avoid dangerous generalizations like, "You never listen to me!" Be specific... and just keep reading even if this doesn't make sense yet!

So here we go, a simple observation, speaking from the heart:

“When I was talking to you just now, you turned around and walked away...”

See how that is just an observation?  There are no opinions, evaluations, or judgements.  Just the facts. 

Step 2) Next, connect the observation to the feelings that came up… in this step, the challenge is to make sure that you're expressing feelings and not thoughts. Let's give it a go:

“…I felt both hurt and confused at the same time…”

Making a little more sense?  You're almost there!

Step 3) Next you tie those feeling to needs that are either being met or not being met by the observation above… don't worry if it seems a little complicated to start. It's sort of like riding a bike... clumsy at first and then easy once you get the hang of it.

So here are the needs:

“… because I have a need for respect and understanding...”

If you’re like most couples on this planet, you’ve learned over the years to avoid vulnerability and hide your true feelings and needs. Dumb as it may sound, sometimes it takes a gentle reminder just to remember what you could be experiencing... of what your needs really are.

Step 4) Finally, the last step to the communication method is to make a clear, specific, answerable request.

In this case, you can ask:

“… Would you be willing to tell me what you heard me say?”

This request is ABSOLUTELY necessary! Without it, you don’t know what your partner heard or what story was being made up in their head about what you just said. It could be anything.

Remember, no matter what is said, THANK THEM!  -  NEVER CORRECT THEM... OR TELL THEM THEY'RE WRONG. They did what you asked, they told you what they heard you say.

Now, if what your partner heard is very different from what you wanted them to hear... it's your responsibility to try again. And in some cases, you may have to go one short sentence at a time.

This may seem slow and time consuming but the truth is that, without this method, issues tend to get recycled for years rather than resolved in minutes… with this method, you have an opportunity to work through the issues, challenges and problems of your relationship... without communication problems.

Once you are both clear on your feelings and needs… the next step is to get clear on your partners feelings and needs…

But first, let's put it all together and see what it looks like:

Here's the situation: You go to talk to your partner about something that's important and emotional to you and they turn and leave the room…

Stop for a second... take a deep breath...

Then you say “When I was talking to you just now, you turned around and walked away…I felt both hurt and confused at the same time… because I have a need for respect and understanding… Would you be willing to tell me what you just heard me say?”

Your partner responds: “Yeah, you are telling me I can't listen to you and get a beer from the fridge at the same time! I heard every word and you know it's true!”

You say “Thank you, let me try again.  What I really wanted you to hear is this: “When I was talking to you just now, you turned around and walked away. Would you be willing to tell me what you heard me say?”

Your partner says “okay, you said when I left the room... you were still talking…”

Great, you're now on a roll! Keep going, sentence by sentence, until your partner has heard you completely.

Once you feel comfortable with this, the next step is to use the same tools to discover what your partner is feeling and needing… and their requests.

Make sure both people in the couple have had their feelings, needs, and requests on the table before trying to work out any strategy to get the needs met.

At this point, you're probably thinking: "this is NOT normal!  People in relationships DO NOT communicate like this when problems come up!" You are right!  Most people don't.  And so many relationships end due to a lack of these simple communication skills.

Einstein said. "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result!” 

Master this communication tool, and you can turn a lack of communication into clear communication and possibly save your relationship from being destroyed by communication problems, issues or challenges.

To find out more about this method, click on the link below for my book and MP3s:

http://www.magicrelationship.net/ebook


With passion, purpose and possibility,

Paul Sterling
Your Relationship Coach


P.S. The hardest part is getting started… so let me help you along… just click on the link below… get out your credit card (yeah I know, there’s always a catch)… and get started today… building more intimacy tonight!   http://www.magicrelationship.net/ebook

 



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