{"id":193,"date":"2009-02-23T12:15:23","date_gmt":"2009-02-23T19:15:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.magicrelationship.net\/blog\/?page_id=193"},"modified":"2012-03-05T23:13:33","modified_gmt":"2012-03-06T06:13:33","slug":"relationship-ebook","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.magicrelationship.net\/blog\/relationship-ebook\/","title":{"rendered":"‘STOP In The Name Of Love’"},"content":{"rendered":"

Can Your Relationship be Saved…
\n<\/span><\/em><\/h2>\n

<\/h1>\n

\u201cHas Your Relationship Hit a Brick Wall?\u201d<\/strong><\/h1>\n

“New Breakthrough For People Who Still Love Each Other\u2026 But Have Communication Problems That Are Destroying Their Relationship.\u201d
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/h3>\n

\u201cYou Are About To Unlock The Amazing Relationship Secrets Discovered by a Former Alaska Fisherman.<\/span><\/strong><\/em> Find out how<\/span><\/span> to dramatically and quickly bring back the love, trust, honesty and open communication in your relationship\u2026”<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n
\n\n\n\n
\n

From: Paul Sterling
\nEstes Park, CO<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Saturday Morning<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Howdy<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\"\" <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\n\n\n\n
<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n

My name is Paul Sterling, I’m 52 years old. I am a high school dropout, have had one divorce and two broken engagements. So you may be asking yourself why you should listen to me when it comes to relationship advice.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

That’s a good question, because most my life I was somewhat of a relationship disaster.<\/em><\/p>\n

Then on one St. Patty’s Day 10 years ago, everything changed. I was invited over to have dinner with some close friends of mine at their cabin in Raymond, Colorado. It’s a beautiful place, nestled right up against the river.<\/em><\/p>\n

They’d been having some real communication problems and it had seemed like their marriage was over… but when I arrived, something had obviously transformed. It was like they’d fallen in love again. It was
\namazing and beautiful — and I needed to know exactly what they had
\ndone.<\/em><\/p>\n

I wanted their secret for myself, and I wanted it immediately!<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Over dinner they explained what they’d done – and the information amazed me. They had finally found a method that <\/span> cracked the communication code between the sexes. <\/span> <\/em><\/p>\n

That evening was just my introduction to the basics. Soon I flew to Sweden to master the system they had learned – one created by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, a rebel psychologist from Chicago.<\/em><\/p>\n

Learning that system and changing the way I communicated in my relationships changed my life.<\/em><\/p>\n

I had been trying everything for 20 years before that.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

I tried the “ignore it and hope it goes away method.” I tried the “complain to friends and family system.” I tried all sorts of advice. I tried reading books about relationships, like Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

And I kept trying\u2026<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

I tried listening to tapes. I tried healing my inner child. I tried going to workshops. I’d hypnosis and NLP. I’d tried marriage counseling. I even tried walking on fire with Tony Robbins, which was a lot of fun, but wasn’t much help for resolving arguments. <\/em><\/p>\n

You name it\u2026 I had tried it.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

And the results were always pretty much the same\u2026<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

I would be excited about the new ideas I was learning but when it came to an upset, misunderstanding or argument with my beloved, I would just go back to my old ways of taking things personally and making them personal – of verbally attacking my ex and defending myself — of building a case against her, showing her where she had gone wrong and why I was right.<\/em><\/p>\n

Hopefully, this doesn’t sound like a sob story.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

I’m just telling you this, so that you can understand the power of this method. If I can learn this – a headstrong, high school drop-out and former Alaska fisherman — then almost anyone can.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

My story has a happy ending and yours can too. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like my relationship doesn’t have any misunderstandings, arguments or upsets… and it’s not like all of a sudden the issues that bother other couples decided to leave us alone.<\/em><\/p>\n

The difference now is that we have the tools to handle the issues in minutes rather than days or weeks and in a way that creates more intimacy, trust and understanding instead of upsets and misunderstandings.<\/em><\/p>\n

Instantly Create Intimacy and Understanding.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

How quickly can you ask four questions? That’s how fast conflicts can be resolved! And they’re resolved at a deep, powerful level. It’s not just a quick fix.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

The power of this method is partially based on its simplicity. The heart of it is four simple questions that are easy to remember, easy to use and incredibly effective in increasing understanding and intimacy while decreasing stress and conflict.<\/em><\/p>\n

The thing that has amazed me about this method is how powerful it works. I have helped couples that have been arguing about an issue for years resolve it in 30 minutes. I’ve help family members that hadn’t talked to each other for over seven years get back together after taking just one of our workshops.<\/em><\/p>\n

It’s Like a “Communication Decoder Ring.”<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

The method is so powerful, your partner will think you are able to read their mind and heart… in a good way.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

You’ll start to notice that the issues that used to be hard to talk about will start to feel like a casual conversation… and the scary ones that you used to run away from, you will now take on with compassion and confidence.<\/em><\/p>\n

You’ll learn what to say. and. how to say it so that your loved one will want to listen and understand you. You’ll also learn what to hear and how to hear it so you don’t take what your partner says personally — try to defend yourself or attack them.<\/em><\/p>\n

Another bonus is learning what not to say and why, so you can avoid upsets, misunderstandings and arguments about trivial things without avoiding the important and stressful issues.<\/em><\/p>\n

It’s like having an Early Warning System… To Prevent “Upsets”<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Discover how to avoid the five most common relationship-wrecking, intimacy-destroying and heartbreaking communication mistakes and your life will change. Once you can easily and confidently identify and avoid these mistakes, you won’t have to run from talking about tough issues anymore.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Change Isn’t Always Better\u2026 But Better\u2026 is Always Change\u2026<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

The question is what to change and how to change it to get the love, trust, honesty, intimacy, open communication\u2026 and everything else I want in a relationship?<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

There are three main things you can change in a relationship.<\/em><\/p>\n

Most people focus on the two that they have very little power over, and miss a golden opportunity right in front of them.<\/em><\/p>\n

When I found out about these, I was stunned. I could clearly see where I had gone wrong in my previous relationships.<\/em><\/p>\n

Warning: before you read these, be ready for a smack-yourself-in-the-forehead moment.<\/em><\/p>\n

* 1) Changing your partner — almost everyone has tried to get their partner to change. They try to get their partner to stop doing some irritating habit like leaving dirty dishes in the sink, leaving the tooth paste cap off, or quitting smoking. Have any of those ever worked?<\/em><\/p>\n

* 2) Change Partners — when changing our partner’s behavior doesn’t work we move on to a different partner. The divorce rate in America right now is 74%* and rising. The problem with this strategy is that we keep attracting similar partners because we haven’t changed.<\/em><\/p>\n

* 3) Changing the way you relate to your partner — this one is less popular but much more powerful, because you do have control over how you relate to somebody else now with new tools and skills. And for those of you who are ready for the advanced class…<\/em><\/p>\n

Wow… once I learned this 4 step method, and I discovered where to focus my energy, life got a lot easier. When I wanted to make a change in the relationship I knew what to do. Talking about important, emotional and stressful issues that used to stop me in my tracks, now doesn’t even bother me.<\/em><\/p>\n

But this is not about me.<\/em><\/p>\n

It’s about you.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

This four-step, simple method will give you the tools and skills to bring back the love, trust, honesty and open communication that most people crave in their relationships.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

And what’s more, you don’t have to wait a long time to learn this. The eBook on the five relationship communication mistakes can be read in one sitting. It’s only 25 powerful pages long.<\/em><\/p>\n

But… don’t let that fool you. You’ll want to read it again and again to get the most out of it.<\/em><\/p>\n

You may also want to download our MP3 files on the 5 Mistakes<\/strong>, the 4 Steps<\/strong> and the 7 Keys<\/strong> so you can listen again and again. You’ll get a sort of mental tune-up to keep your relationship in great shape.<\/em><\/p>\n

Simple and easy.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Now here is the part that’s a little embarrassing to talk about, but most of us, including myself, act like a five-year-old when we are in the middle of an emotionally heated argument.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Why is this important to talk about now? It’s simple: if the system is too difficult for a five-year-old to remember and use, it won’t do me any good one in the middle of an upset.<\/em><\/p>\n

But this system IS simple and easy enough to use in any situation. In fact, it is taught to grade-school children in Bosnia, the Middle East and the US. But it is so effective that therapists and counselors come to our classes to learn this method to use with their clients and their families.<\/em><\/p>\n

I have taught this method with raving results to a wide variety people ranging from at-risk, high school students, to maximum-security prison inmates, and Buddhist students, along with therapists, counselors and even professors… and of course lots and lots of couples.<\/em><\/p>\n

Learning Together Is Optional.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Now don’t get me wrong: most of the time it’s easier and more fun when your partner learns this process too… unless less they’re totally reluctant and only learn the process because you blackmail them by telling them they you’ll never have sex with them again…<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

But it can be learned by yourself.<\/em><\/p>\n

Changing the way you relate to your partner will change the relationship. It’s like slow dancing\u2026 if one of you changes the step, then the dance HAS to change.<\/em><\/p>\n

Your partner has to do something to accommodate this change or you’ll both fall over.<\/em><\/p>\n

Isn’t it a little reassuring to know that you can change the relationship without having to change your partner?<\/em><\/p>\n

The Relationship Wall…<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Some people hid it in a week for some it takes a couple of months and for my parents took about 20 years… the wall is where your issues and emotions are bigger than your skills.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

And without help\u2026 it often ends up in separation or divorce even though the couple may still love each other dearly, they just don’t have the skills to work through their problems, and it becomes easier to end the relationship than it is to resolve the issues.<\/em><\/p>\n

The secret to success and happiness is so obvious that most people don’t see it.<\/em><\/p>\n

It’s All about Communication<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

If you want to be successful… you have to learn how to communicate with others. Look at politicians, salespeople and Hollywood actors. What do they have in common? They are all great (at times) at communicating with others.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Now the other half of this formula is if you want to be happy\u2026 you have to learn how to communicate with yourself.<\/em><\/p>\n

Look at some of the same people from the above example or grade at communicating with others and can communicate with themselves. Some examples are John Belushi, Otis Redding, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Chaplin\u2026 and look at all of the politicians and even preachers that are saying one thing and doing some different. <\/em><\/p>\n

So Here Are Some Of The Benefits<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\"\" Learn to trust each other again.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\" Your partner will appreciate you and give you respect.
\n<\/strong>
\n<\/span><\/span> \"\" They will have a change of heart.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\" Your spouse will trust you and pay more attention to you.
\n<\/strong>
\n<\/span><\/span> \"\" You won\u2019t get defensive every time you say or do things.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\" Your partner will sit and communicate with you.
\n<\/strong>
\n<\/span><\/span> \"\" They will stop blaming you and accusing you for \u2018his issues.\u2019<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\" He\/she will appreciate you more.
\n<\/strong>
\n<\/span><\/span> \"\" Your partner will listen.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\" You\u2019ll stop blaming, and start working together to correct what went wrong.
\n<\/strong>
\n<\/span><\/span> \"\" Communicate less defensively.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\" You and your partner will have productive disagreements and conversations without arguing.
\n<\/strong>
\n<\/span><\/span> \"\" Understand each other and stay committed.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"Communicate in ways that don’t get misinterpreted<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"Encourage compassion, love, honesty and respect.<\/span><\/p>\n

Who are we, and why do we have the knowledge <\/span><\/strong><\/span> to deliver this simple, powerful and effective advice to you?<\/span><\/span><\/strong>
\n<\/span> \"\"<\/span><\/h3>\n

I’m Paul Sterling<\/span><\/strong>, and after the tragic suicide of my older brother, I started studying human behavior and communication… driven by the idea…<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere has to be a better way!\u201d <\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I’ve spent twenty years studying and teaching communication skills in government, business and private practice. And of course, I tried to use communication in my personal relationships. But it didn\u2019t always work<\/strong>. In fact, I have one divorce and two broken engagements under my belt. <\/span><\/p>\n

So I always knew I had more to learn. About 10 years ago I found the work of Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication (www.cnvc.org). I was amazed at how powerful, useful and simple it was. <\/span><\/p>\n

I have over 10 solid years of training, educating <\/span><\/strong> and teaching myself communication.<\/strong><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

I was so moved by this work that for the last 10 years I have studied relationship communication. A few years ago, I blended NVC with systems theory, neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) and neuro-associative conditioning to create an incredibly effective way to compassionately connect with yourself and others. <\/span><\/p>\n

Now, I teach this simple yet powerful communication method to prison inmates, at-risk students, university professors, therapists, counselors and, of course, couples \u2013 lots of couples.<\/span><\/p>\n

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<\/td>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n

Some of the people we’ve taught have been so excited and really relieved<\/em> by the results they\u2019ve experienced, they’ve <\/span><\/strong> e-mailed, phoned, faxed<\/strong> and <\/strong> mailed<\/strong><\/span> us these letters:<\/span><\/strong><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\n\n\n
\n
\n

Paul,<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Great call last night! I wanted to share my feedback with you <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I had always learned that people have needs\/ wants, etc. and when they are not getting them they can or will behave in certain ways, etc.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

However, what really hit me and is sticking like glue is that I now have a way to EXPRESS my needs and by having that option it’s allowed me to really examine my own needs.\u00a0 By examining my needs and feeling permission to express them I already feel a shift that i am more sensative to others’ needs. It’s like a weight off my shoulders!!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I think the Magic Relationship Method is a great way to not only communicate what your needs are but to also come to an understanding of others and their needs as well.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The impact was so immediate that last night after the call [5-4-7 Teleseminar Cal]) this is what happened: <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My mother had called and left a message so I decided to call her back.\u00a0 My four year old son really likes to talk to my mom especially once he learned that he could call her Grandma Cookie.\u00a0 (This is her family nickname).\u00a0 So we called her up and when I got a chance to talk after my son she started expressing all kinds of hurt feelings about my older children not calling her.\u00a0 Instead of debating or arguing how little she calls them etc, I realized that her feeling were hurt and said ,” so what you’re saying is that your feelings are hurt because Tom and Jess don’t call? She replied, “Yes, I feel like they don’t care about me etc. etc.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Rather than get defensive I said that I would let them know that you need to know that they still care about you.\u00a0 She said that I should since I was their dad.\u00a0 I said I would be willing to do that. And that was it. We then moved on to another conversation.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In the past, I would have said things like, “Well, you hardly call them either!\u00a0 They’re really busy and by the way, you decided to move away from them and now your complaining that you don’t get to see them.” <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Wow!\u00a0 I can view this from a bird’s eye view now. This is great!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I definitely appreciate the info and look forward to learning more. \u00a0I vote for peace! <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Ed L.
\nIn love and gratitude<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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“Radically Impacted My Relationships…”<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/h1>\n

“I recognize how I am constantly building cases against people. Just that alone has\u00a0radically impacted my relationships.”
\n<\/em>
\nDaniela Hess Scholl
\nIthaca, New York<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n

\n\n\n\n
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“I feel I can finally start building a relationship that was lost between my family, wife, children…”<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/h1>\n

“It’s not that the communication was bad, it just wasn’t there. And it’s way past time for me to connect with my family. And I want to do it the most effective way possible. Me and my wife are both going through a lot right now. We will need all the tools possible to keep continuing to grow and understand each other’s needs. Thank you.”<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/h1>\n

Arnie S., Jefferson County Jail<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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Henry and Velina came to a workshop of ours last December.\u00a0 They announced on the first day of the workshop that they were going to break up.\u00a0 They were just going to be learning how to communicate better through the separation.\u00a0 We very much appreciated their frankness in this matter.<\/span><\/h1>\n

Henry and Velina worked hard on their communication that weekend.\u00a0 There were tears and upsets and heart-to-heart talks.\u00a0 And at the end of the weekend they were communicating much more openly and honestly about their individual feelings and needs.\u00a0 They went home and we didn\u2019t hear from them for a while.\u00a0 And then one day I got this email from Velina:<\/p>\n

Subject: Good news<\/p>\n

I just wanted to pass on to you and Paul the good news. Henry and I have renewed our vows to each other and reunited in marriage. We are using the NVC tools [the Magic Relationship Method] successfully and doing better than EVER! Thank you guys so much for your support. I got the business cards too and will be sure to pass them on.<\/p>\n

We love you!
\nVelina<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n

\""Click<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

Dear Paul,<\/p>\n

It’s Arthur, literally from the other side of the world, sunny Singapore. Know what–metaphorically speaking we’re on the same heart-opening side of the world….<\/p>\n

Your message is so timely. Actually, my contact with Paul was spot-on timely. I needed more guidance to aid my dearest friends in at a critical time, and then he uttered “magicrelationship.com” during a certain teleseminar (hey Paul: the one on webinars!) Well, I picked it up..<\/p>\n

Since then, as the saying goes, although my heart knows no bottom: many thanks to you both, from the bottom of my heart.<\/p>\n

Lately, I’ve had too much on my plate (or is it cup stuffed full) and it was hard dealing with Annie and Flavio who live some seven hours’ flight time from me in Brisbane, Oz….<\/p>\n

Long story short, I made time to read the .pdf file once, straight off the screen of my old iMac and that very midnight worked with Annie on the phone. So glad you were right there for me when I mustered everything in my heart and mind to help prevent them from breaking up–which they had mutually decided to do, about an hour before Annie phoned to announce it to me. We spoke, and spoke, and connected. The stuff we talked about… I’m sure you’ve heard it all over and over.<\/p>\n

Here’s her heartfelt email I just picked up this morning, that I’m happy to share with you, my partners in healing. You won’t mind that I’ve removed identity\/address details.<\/p>\n

Hi Artie dear<\/span><\/p>\n

I know that you have been sending much love to both Flavio & me.<\/span><\/p>\n

It is not possible in this brief update to be able to explain all that has happened. It is however, suffice to say there has been a change, a positive one in our relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

It was moving and profound and I feel privileged to have been able to share in a precious moment, a meeting in ‘real love’ with Flavio. Such a trustful and tender moment has led to a ‘new’ beginning for him and so, for us also as a couple.<\/span><\/p>\n

I myself, have had a realization of a new ‘spiritual awakening’. With this has come the gentleness, inner peace and a moving forward in my own spiritual growth. I am grateful.<\/span><\/p>\n

must go dearest.<\/span><\/p>\n

love ever Sis.xx<\/span><\/p>\n

I’ve told some close friends of mine about your being there for me when I needed it. Will make more time to view the video material and work more closely with you….\u00a0 :-<\/p>\n

Be well.\u00a0 Now I must reply Annie.<\/p>\n

Arthur<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\""Click<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Just how much do we believe in this solution? Got a
\ntough partner and not sure this will work for you? <\/span><\/h3>\n

Order the eBook and audio recordings, read the book, listen to the recordings, take notes and practice what you learn. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

You have 90 days to put these tools to the test. <\/em><\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n

\n\n\n\n
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Learn to identify and avoid the 5 Mistakes and test them in your most challenging situations.\u00a0 We guarantee knowing and avoiding them will:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n