{"id":1571,"date":"2014-01-15T19:21:09","date_gmt":"2014-01-16T02:21:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.magicrelationship.net\/blog\/?p=1571"},"modified":"2014-03-01T18:16:08","modified_gmt":"2014-03-02T01:16:08","slug":"what-did-i-say","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.magicrelationship.net\/blog\/what-did-i-say\/","title":{"rendered":"What Did I Say? &#8211; Avoiding Communication Hell&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><b><i>Understanding the Communication Star can help you avoid COMMUNICATION HELL!<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p>How?<\/p>\n<p>By understanding what causes most communication problems and misunderstandings you can learn how to avoid these painful mistakes.<\/p>\n<p><b><i>PURPOSE: <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p><b>TO:<\/b>&nbsp; give couples a model about communication that is a simple way of looking at a complex subject. Relationship Communication.<\/p>\n<p><b>SO THAT:<\/b> they can see what went wrong when communication goes off track\u2026 and where to focus so they can bring it back on track.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b><i><br \/>\nINTENDED OUTCOME: <\/i><\/b>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Lovers feel empowered when they understand what went wrong when &nbsp;their communication falls apart and feel confident about getting things back on track.<\/li>\n<li>Both parties feel heard, understood and valued.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b><i><br \/>\nMETHOD: Review this model and look over some past upsets. Which of the six parts were missing? The more past situations you review, the more familiar you become with the model and the more useful it becomes. Do the practice exercise below.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<h2><b><i>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;The Communication Star<\/i><\/b><\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.magicrelationship.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Communication-Star-image.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1726\" alt=\"Communication Star image\" src=\"http:\/\/www.magicrelationship.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Communication-Star-image-300x183.png\" width=\"300\" height=\"183\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.magicrelationship.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Communication-Star-image-300x183.png 300w, https:\/\/www.magicrelationship.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Communication-Star-image.png 667w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><b><i>&nbsp;<\/i><\/b><b><i>The 6 Parts of the Communication Star Defined:<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p><b><i>The listening triangle <\/i><\/b><i>first, start with the end in mind. If you want someone to feel Valued, they need to feel understood. For someone to feel understood, they need to feel heard.<\/i><\/p>\n<p><b><i>1)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/i><\/b><b><i>Heard: <\/i><\/b><i>here it\u2019s not good enough just to say <strong>\u201cI heard you\u201d<\/strong> or <strong>\u201cI got it\u201d<\/strong>. It\u2019s best to feedback what you think you heard and make sure they <strong>\u201cget it\u201d<\/strong> that you <strong>\u201cgot it\u201d<\/strong><b><\/b><\/i><\/p>\n<p><b><i>2) &nbsp; &nbsp; U<\/i><\/b><b><i>nderstood: <\/i><\/b><i>once your lover <strong>\u201cgets it\u201d<\/strong> that you <strong>\u201cgot it\u201d<\/strong> that you have entered their world, they feel understood.<b><\/b><\/i><\/p>\n<p><b><i>3)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/i><\/b><b><i>Valued: <\/i><\/b><i>once someone feels heard and understood, without judgment, they feel valued. After that happens there is space for them to hear, understand and value what you have to say.<b><\/b><\/i><\/p>\n<p><b><i>The speaking triangle<\/i><\/b><i> is second. It is important what you say\u2026 and\u2026 &nbsp;how you say it.<\/i><\/p>\n<p><b><i>4)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/i><\/b><b><i>Conscious: <\/i><\/b><i>being conscious here means understanding that what someone hears is often very different from what you say. And that what someone thinks they heard is more important to them then what you think you said.<b><\/b><\/i><\/p>\n<p><b><i>5)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/i><\/b><b><i>Compassionate: <\/i><\/b><i>to meet someone where they are with empathy and compassion.<b><\/b><\/i><\/p>\n<p><b><i>6)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/i><\/b><b><i>Courageous: <\/i><\/b><i>to be powerfully vulnerable, to speak from your heart, to express what you are feeling and needing, ending with a clear request.<b><\/b><\/i><\/p>\n<p><b><i>Exercise part one: <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p><b><i>First write down 3 conflicts, upsets or arguments you have had, the more resent to better.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p><b><i>1)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/i><\/b><b><i>____________________________________________________________<\/i><\/b><b><i><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p><b><i>2)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/i><\/b><b><i>____________________________________________________________<\/i><\/b><b><i><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p><b><i>3)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/i><\/b><b><i>____________________________________________________________<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p><b><i>Now write down which part was missing in each situation?<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p><b><i>1)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/i><\/b><b><i>____________________________________________________________<\/i><\/b><b><i><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p><b><i>2)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/i><\/b><b><i>____________________________________________________________<\/i><\/b><b><i><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p><b><i>3)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/i><\/b><b><i>____________________________________________________________<\/i><\/b><b><i><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<h2>Want to know more?<\/h2>\n<p>For a limited time I\u2019ve decided to offer a&nbsp;<b>NEW YEARS SPECIAL Complimentary (no charge)&nbsp;<\/b>one-on-one\u2026&nbsp;<strong>(These sessions are normally $97 dollars \u2013 my regular office hours are $150 hr.) because I want to give back&#8230;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><b>\u201cRELATIONSHIP BREAKTHROUGH COACHING SESSION<\/b>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>During this session we\u2019ll work together to\u2026<\/p>\n<p>=&gt; Get crystal clear&nbsp;<b>what you really need&nbsp;from your relationship to make you happy&nbsp;<\/b><\/p>\n<p>=&gt;&nbsp;<b>Uncover hidden challenge<\/b>s that may be&nbsp;sabotaging your relationship success<\/p>\n<p>=&gt;&nbsp;<b>Understand which relationship type<\/b>&nbsp;you&nbsp;and your lover are (3 main types)<\/p>\n<p>=&gt; Decide \u201d IS&nbsp;<b>THIS RELATIONSHIP WORTH SAVING<\/b>\u201d?<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ll leave this session renewed, reenergized and inspired to turn your current relationship into the relationship&nbsp;of your dreams (or know if it\u2019s time to get out)<\/p>\n<p>THESE SESSIONS ARE OVER THE PHONE OR SKYPE\u2026 So you can do them from anywhere in the world! We just have to match up our time zones\u2026<\/p>\n<p>To claim your 30 minute \u201cRelationship Rescue Coaching Session\u201d takes two steps:<\/p>\n<p><b>First \u2013 take about 5 minutes to answer a 7 question relationship survey\u2026<\/b><\/p>\n<h4><a href=\"http:\/\/www.magicrelationship.net\/survey-session.htm\">http:\/\/www.magicrelationship.net\/survey-session.htm<\/a><\/h4>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Understanding the Communication Star can help you avoid COMMUNICATION HELL! How? By understanding what causes most communication problems and misunderstandings you can learn how to avoid these painful mistakes. PURPOSE: TO:&nbsp; give couples a model about communication that is a simple way of looking at a complex subject. Relationship Communication. SO THAT: they can see [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":187,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[334,1],"tags":[127,299,596,595,664],"class_list":["post-1571","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news","category-relationship-blog","tag-couples","tag-feedback","tag-judgment","tag-practice-exercise","tag-relationship-communication"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.magicrelationship.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1571","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.magicrelationship.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.magicrelationship.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.magicrelationship.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/187"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.magicrelationship.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1571"}],"version-history":[{"count":33,"href":"https:\/\/www.magicrelationship.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1571\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1579,"href":"https:\/\/www.magicrelationship.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1571\/revisions\/1579"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.magicrelationship.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1571"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.magicrelationship.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1571"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.magicrelationship.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1571"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}