The other day I headed for my bathroom, hoping to take a warm and
\nrelaxing shower.<\/p>\n
I started the hot water running. After only a few minutes the water
\nstarted backing up and filling the tub.<\/p>\n
Damn, the drainpipe had frozen again\u2026 One of the frustrating
\nchallenges of living in the cold (but beautiful) mountains of
\nColorado.<\/p>\n
As I got bundled up so I could head outdoors and defrost the
\ndrainpipe\u2026 again\u2026 I’ve flashed on what I should’ve done.<\/p>\n
Prevention is so simple.\u00a0 When the temperatures are get into the
\nteens outside all I need to do is run some hot water through the
\npipes if each evening, before going to bed\u2026 avoiding frozen pipes and
\nhours of work defrosting them.<\/p>\n
What does any of this have to do with your relationship?<\/p>\n
Great question\u2026 read on and find out.<\/p>\n
So\u2026 as I headed out the door, mumbling under my breath and wishing
\nI had just spent a few minutes in keeping the pipe thawed, I realize
\nhow much this is like a relationship.<\/p>\n
A few minutes of prevention\u2026 of gratitude\u2026 can keep a small issue
\nfrom becoming a huge issue\u2026 and can prevent the freezing of the
\nemotional pipes between you and your lover.<\/p>\n
Very often, clients wait the last minute to come to me\u2026 after the
\npipes are frozen solid \u2026 and love doesn\u2019t even have a chance of
\nflowing at between them. At this point, it would take a blow torch to
\ndefrost their pipes and solve their relationship problems\u2026 but
\nluckily it’s not impossible.<\/p>\n
So here’s my quick \u2018Gratitude Exercise\u2019.<\/p>\n
Do this exercise at least once a week, especially when it’s cold
\noutside so you can keep your relationship communication pipes thawed
\nand the love flowing.<\/p>\n
Simply sit down with your lover, decide who’s going to go first,
\nand then who ever goes first is going to tell their partner three
\nthings they are grateful for\/what they appreciate about their lover.<\/p>\n
Here’s an example: Joe and Sarah are having a tough day, in fact,
\nit’s tempting just to turn on the TV and turn off any chance of
\nconnection, understanding and intimacy that night.<\/p>\n
But Sarah decides she wants more from their relationship\u2026 and is
\nwilling to take the lead to get it\u2026 she grabs Joe by the hand and
\nleads him to the couch, saying \u201cI know\u2026 let’s try that \u2018Gratitude
\nExercise\u2019\u2026\u00a0 and I’ll even go first.\u201d<\/p>\n
Reluctantly, Joe settles into the couch next to her. His face looks
\ndoubtful, but the truth is, he is actually intrigued by the idea and
\nskeptically hopeful about the outcome.<\/p>\n
After all, she’s about to tell him what she appreciates about him,
\nrather than lecturing him on what he’s done wrong and how he should
\nchange. Now that\u2019s a relief.<\/p>\n
Sarah is a little uncomfortable to start with but fires away \u201cJoe,
\nyou know, last week, when you took the kids camping and fishing with
\nyou\u2026 and had to miss your bowling night to do it\u2026 They were so happy
\nand excited when they got home, filled with stories of their great
\nadventure\u2026 I was so proud of you as my lover and their father. It
\nreally touched my heart!\u201d<\/p>\n
She then moves on to the second one. \u201cHoney, I’m afraid I haven’t
\nbeen thanking you for making the bed in the morning while I’m rushing
\nto get the kids to school and make breakfast. You have no idea how
\nthat simple act makes me feel so loved and supported.\u00a0 Thank you!\u201d<\/p>\n
At this point, she can see the Joe is visibly moved and touched by
\nthese first two statements of gratitude\u2026 and she can see he\u2019s even
\nlooking forward to more\u2026<\/p>\n
Inspired, she says makes her final statement. \u201cI know this is going
\nto sound kind of funny, but I’d totally appreciate that you work out
\nat the gym several times a week. I love it that my girlfriends are
\nenvious about how good you look.\u201d<\/p>\n
After sitting there and holding hands for a few minutes, they
\nswitch and it\u2019s Joe’s turn. When they were done, the pipes were
\nthawed and love is flowing through them easily.
\nOkay, now it’s your turn.
\nGrab your lover by the hand sit them down on the couch and give it
\na try.\u00a0 Don\u2019t worry about getting it right, JUST DO IT\u2026<\/p>\n
With passion, purpose and possibility,<\/p>\n
Paul Sterling
\nYour relationship coach<\/p>\n
P.S. I\u2019m looking forward your feedback. Give it a shot and than
\nleave a comment below. Until next time\u2026<\/p>\n